Any given Sunday

I'm driving down to Laguna, as I do often on the weekends, to visit some of my very favorite people in the world (gotta love blood right?). I am being moved to goose bumps by the new discovery of master mash-up artist Dj Earworm and it hits me. I'm amazing. I have the most incredible life, I have the most amazing family, the best friends and really good taste in music. My car is the coolest in the world and my house is warm and fuzzy. I am in fact relatively funny, I can cook if you give me directions and I can sing like a dove! (are doves good singers?) I also have been known to give some of the best hugs in the world, and by hugs I mean...hugs :). So I've got the wind in my hair and the bass pumping in my soul and I'm feeling good right? And then it hits me, I wish I had someone to share it with. I wish my honey would reach out for my hand or brush the long hair from my neck and gently kiss me. But he's not there. He's not there.

Don't do it liza may, don't go down that rabbit hole. Don't let this take away your buzz.

Friday night I was involved in one of the lamest set-ups of all time. In it's defense I have never actually been on a "real" set-up so I have nothing to compare it to. However, it was very obvious, very awkward and very boring. Especially because I go in and out of having the semi-hots for the guy arranging it. It's a long story involving a drunken wedding party gone terribly wrong where the magic that was supposed to happen to me went to my best friend instead. And was not magic. Bullet dodged you say? Maybe. But still I can't help but wonder when I go to his house and find my favorite paintings all over the walls. I digress, I pull up to said Host's house and make sure my lipstick looks just so, to be safe. I knock on the door and Host answers to bring me inside. He introduces me to all the couples and then Friend. Host then leads the three of us outside and pulls an "I'll be right back" move proceeding to leave us for thirty minutes. Thirty minutes of slow time talking about eye prescriptions and glasses grades. Poor guy. He was perfectly nice but just too smart for his own good, and a little hairy. And nervous. As I've said I'm trying to stay open, but when I was more bummed about the Host's date showing up than I was about the fact that I had to leave without exchanging digits, I knew it was a bust.

And the five other contenders? No word. Nothing exciting really. I texted three of them to let them know I was interested, in case there was any confusion about my interest. There probably wasn't and I probably blew it which is precisely why one of my married girlfriends bought me 'Why Men Love Bitches' for Christmas, and why I am seriously thinking it's time for me to actually read it. Tentative plans with White and Green have been made with no set dates. I haven't heard from Salmon and Green only has my number. (Watch that's the one that sticks...I wouldn't complain) As for ex? Well yes we have been texting if you must know. He hasn't been drinking, or smoking or snorting according to him, and rumor has it he's moving to LA in less than 6 months. Yes I am trying not to react. Reactions are for the weak. I will respond when I am moved to.

So do I let the loneliness kill my buzz? What do you think? I open my sun roof, turn up my volume, grab my own hand and kiss it! 'I'm amazing.' I say out loud 'And I love you.'